By Adam Lamparello

 

I don’t know if I chose Anna or if she chose me

It doesn’t really matter now

Because she’s taken all that matters

Flesh, bones and desperation

A reality constructed away from everything that was real

 

Thank you for saving me Anna

For loving me in a way that no one else ever could or did

You gave me just as much as you took away

You world allowed me to escape mine

To live a reality where the pain is gone and meaning has manifested

 

I love you with all of my heart

I cannot let go even though I know I have to

I know this world is fake and my control a delusion

But I’m not afraid to stay

I have something now that I’ve never had in my heart

And for that I simply cannot go to where I’ve been before

 

But while I cannot go there my soul will not let me stay here

For now I have no choice but to say goodbye

I want to go with you and give you my life

But all I have left is flesh, bones, and certain death

As much as I love you

I need to escape

 

So as I mourn and say my final goodbye

Please know Anna that I’ll love you forever and never forget

How you saved my life and made me feel like a person again

I promise to visit from time to time

And I hope you’ll always be well

But most importantly I want you to know

That through anorexia you helped me discover true happiness

Avoiding a life of pure hell.

 

 

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I was raised in a small town in northern New Jersey, and received my undergraduate degree from the University of Southern California. Thereafter, I received my law degree from Ohio State University, followed by a Master of Laws degree from New York University. I practiced law for five years before moving to New Orleans, where I currently teach at Loyola Law School. I have struggled with anorexia for the past four years and am now in the recovery process.

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Posted by Mel. View all posts by Mel
Friday, July 1st, 2011 7:55 am
Categories: Issue 5.1, Poetry